How Do You Get a Cat to Trust You?

There are a few ways to get a cat to trust you. Most revolve around minimizing fear and stress, as these are the main reasons why your cat may feel mistrustful — especially if they’re new to your family or in a new environment.

Here’s how to get your cat to trust you

1. Give the cat the opportunity to be alone. 

Giving your cat or kitten access to places where they’re guaranteed to be undisturbed in their new home, such as cat trees or boxes, helps build trust. Knowing they have a safe place to escape if they feel overwhelmed helps ensure they’re only around you when they want to be, which builds trust. Minimizing any startling sounds (like vacuums or alarms) in their safe space and around it also goes a long way toward minimizing your cat’s stress. 

2. Let the cat make the first move.

It’s always best to let your cat approach you first — whether during your first time meeting them at an adoption meet-and-greet or in your home. When your cat does make that move, pay attention to their body language: if they seem relaxed and comfortable, you can touch them. When you do, be gentle and observe where they like to be pet (behind the ears, on the chin and cheeks, and the back of the neck are generally appreciated). Never force your cat to do anything, including being held against their will. 

Read this related article on Kinship

How to Build Your New Cat’s Trust in You

If your cat still approaches you with a figurative arched eyebrow of skepticism, try these tricks to put them at ease.

3. Create positive experiences with the cat. 

Positive experiences help build trust with your cat, and one surefire way to positively engage them is through play. You can use toys, especially ones that move so they can chase or jump to reach them (and you should let them catch them so they don’t feel teased). Training can also be a positive experience; when cats learn they can get treats in response to your behavior, they will have a positive association with you and learn to trust you. 

Fearful cats also appreciate routines; if they’re fed at the same time each day and if your movements are relatively predictable, they feel more secure in their environment as they know what to expect. 

Signs a cat is starting to trust you

A surefire way to know if your cat is starting to trust you is, first and foremost, if they start to approach you regularly and spend time with you. You can also look for body language signals, including sustained eye contact (perhaps with a slow blink now and then), a tall, upright tail, and purring, among others.